Rakesh Cristoval









Date of Birth

October 2, 1972 (age 45)

"Mother Yucker Doooooooooooooooooooooooon't talk to me like that" -Rakesh Cristoval

Rakesh Cristoval/Punjeet/Qor/Katahn-Shan Bantu is an Indian man who is well known for his prank call in "Angry Indian Restaurant Prank". He is the third most popular character after Buk Lau and Tyrone Biggums. Like these two, he is used for calling random people.

Rakesh's occupations range from a stereotypical Indian call center representative, a goat farmer to a worker with the food company Sysco, and even a Craigs List advertiser!

His most prominent feature is his use of the word "motheryucker" or "mutharyar" or "mother ugly" or a word close to it, and claims that it is not a bad word simply because of the letter substitution. He is also known to react angrily to indian people through this common phrase. He also occasionally uses gibberish sentences (Variants of Hippity Hoppitus) that usually leaves the person he's speaking to silent and confused. "Can I talk to somebody who can tell me about the hoppilly hippity skilly hoppity screen saver?" One of his favorite insults is to call someone a "bhenchod" which translates to "sister f****er" in Hindi. He also tends to use the phrase "not gord/goord" when he is upset about something.

Rakesh is a big fan of the Indian dish Chicken Tikka Masala and always talks about making and eating it. He also uses it as a body part euphemism for penis much like Abdo uses "kaboobies" to refer to cleavage. Rakesh also enjoys eating "hot doggies", particularly from 7/11, even though they tend to make him sick and go "boom boom boom" on the toilet when he gets food poisoning. Rakesh also seems to be a big fan of yoga which keeps him flexible and in shape. He also has an extremely odd goat fetish that is mentioned in several pranks.

Hippity Hoppitus

Rakesh wearing the limited edition Hippity Hoppitus t-shirt.

Quotes: Edit

  • "Mother Yucker"
  • "Mother Yucker Doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon't talk to me like that."
  • "So basically the MD5 is re-routing in the MAJOOGILY of the OC3 Optical Line rite?"
  • "Will I be recieving it from the front or the back?"
  • "How big is your hot doggie?"
  • "My cousin Harneet I have been chasing him on my razor scooter!"
  • "829 mothar chodar"
  • "Kapatilay Donut"
  • "Donutting!"
  • "Rollar Koaster riiiite?"
  • "Spend 9-5 scamming people you mother BITCH?"
  • "Happe skilia hapa kala donut!"
  • "Mother Yaaaar"
  • "Hallo?"
  • "Hippity Hoppitus!"
  • "Mother Choddar"
  • "Doooooooooooooon't talk to me like thaat'"
  • "Not goord, right?"
  • "Hayamla skillyaaaaaaa hapakala DONUT!"
  • "Let it out Motheryaar, let it out!"
  • "You are my bitch, right nao!"
  • "Ok, give me the kiss."
  • "Errdite no'"
  • "Stop it! Stop it!"
  • "Oooooooooooooooooooooohh!!!!"
  • "Oh, my god[s]!"
  • "O, my God. O, my GooOOooOOooOOooOOd....."
  • "Aaalright"
  • "ooOOOooOoooOOoooo"
  • "Tanks!"
  • "Aryupki!"
  • "Welcome to Stage 2...."
  • "You don't want to go to Stage 3..."
  • "Mimmya Ka Poolya Ka Tapa Killya!!"
  • "M.C. Punjavi"
  • "Do you have a big ballsack like me?"
  • "Ok, bhenchode"
  • "Do the gay tings"
  • "1 Curry tikka masala"
  • "Hippity Hoppitus"
  • "Crispitus."
  • "Can I talk to somebody who can tell me abouting..."
  • "Razer scooter right no"
  • "Netflixitus and chill"
  • “Mother Clucker!”
  • "A WOT?!"